We’ve only been in China for a little less than 3 weeks. According to some culture shock has 5 stages.
- honeymoon phase
- rejection phase
- regression phase
- recovery phase
- reverse culture shock
Most of the time I’m stuck in the honeymoon phase because we haven’t settled down yet. However, I have gone through some of the rejection and regression phases.
The rejection phase means that you start to become disenchanted with the new surroundings. I can recall a number of times that I’ve felt myself “reject” China.
I get stressed out when I stand in line and a number of people cut in front of me. It’s not like they don’t see me. They just don’t care. The phrase “every man for himself” applies here.
The constant stares really get to me sometimes. Everywhere we’ve gone, besides Shanghai, the Farr Family is on show. Maeli heightens the attraction but even left to myself, I constantly turn heads.
Aside from the grocery store where prices are clearly labeled, shopping is almost always a nightmare. People get in my face if I pause for a moment to look over their goods. Girls start to grab at my coat and try to herd me into their stores. They put things in my hand and shove things in my face. If I only knew how to tell them to “shove off”.
Some people skip past the regression stage altogether. This phase occurs because there is so much contempt for the new culture that you begin to speak and act according to your home culture.
Sometimes my thoughts return to America. I found myself writing a list of the things I miss most about home. In less than a minute I jotted the following:
- family
- English
- health food stores
- public toilets
- Americans
- my bed
- laundry machines
I asked Aaron to make the same list. He had to strain some brain cells to come up with the following:
- reliable high-speed Internet
- catalytic converters
- restrooms that are clean enough to change a diaper
- free media (critical news sources)
It’s pretty obvious that I’m regressing more than Aaron.
So, I’m looking forward to reaching the recovery stage but I doubt that will happen until we settle. Right now I feel like we’re on vacation.
And then of course there is the fifth stage, which is unavoidable…reverse culture shock. Aaron claims that this is the hardest phase and one day I’ll find out when I set foot on the “Land of the Free”.
§Commentary
We’re having our own little culture shock over here; it’s called “living without people you love”. So far, no honeymoon phase, only rejection phase. But this site is really helpful in keeping us from the “total rejection phase”…it’s a little like having you around.
Keep up the good work with the blogging.
Love to all,
Aunt Linda
I understand what you are going through. I took my family to Trinidad and Tobago (from the UK) some years back. It’s very hard adapting to a new culture (easier for me in that case as there was no language barrier, but then there was a rather nasty history to get passed too).
Some of the things you don’t like never go away, you will always be different from most people for example. However, you will, hopefully, learn to turn that to your advantage and will feel as self-concious about it.
Try making a list of the things you would miss if you left today. You probably won’t have to long a list right now, but each time you try it, the list will get longer. You’ll probably see that you are learning to love your new home and new life without even noticing it.
Good luck
Ross